Speaking at a press conference this morning, Archbishop Jensen proudly announced the appointment to the Sydney Diocesan Standing Committee of four new members.
"Every one of the new appointees has in his previous role displayed years of unquestioning allegiance to a rigidly enforced corporate profile" the Archbishop explained, "and can be trusted to vote exactly as instructed, irrespective of the issue. They're completely incapable of independent thought, and collectively represent exactly the kind of men we need to run this diocese on our behalf."
When questioned about the absence of Birdie the Early Bird, Archbishop Jensen insisted he is committed to providing biblical ministry opportunities for women, but "God has clearly established different roles and paths for each of the sexes. That there just happens to be more opportunities for men, and that men's roles are better paid and don't involve cleaning is simply one of the miracles of His Word."